Wedding Vows & Promises
The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.
Living together in a lock-down, through this pandemic, goes against our very nature and tests any relationship. It is a once in a lifetime experience, living in close quarters with one or two people, losing our social circles and interactions. Couples will, for the most part, come through it together and be stronger. The traits of one another will be amplified, making it a perfect time to think about your wedding vows & to start living by them.
Vows are the most traditional and important piece of your wedding which often get caught in the legality of a wedding. Without giving thought to them wedding vows are quite stiff and generic where they should be an exchange of meaningful words, a verbal contract that binds and expresses your love for each other together.
Taking some time now, while we have it, to think about your wedding vows and promises will help you with all the planning stages of your day. It will also serve as a reminder of your love for each other AND the things that test each other. It is both of these aspects that make up a relationship and make it stronger and more powerful.
Geoffrey, Matara’s founder, and I have been researching vows and promises and thought we would share some of our findings. Please keep in mind that you should speak from the heart. The ceremony should be full of emotion and express the love you have for each other, a declaration you make in front of your family and friends, asking them to help you both to keep them til death do you part.
Below are some promises and vows Geoffrey has written as a celebrant as well as some we have found that resonated with us. We have created themes to serve as reminders of all the different aspects of a relationship. Please feel free to reach out to us if you want to talk through your vows and promises, we would love to hear what you are learning about each other, the great and the ugly, and how you are learning to love each other in new ways.
Love and Happiness to you all
As a celebrant these are some vows Geoffrey has written for blessings held at Matara:
I am fully responsible for our relationship, which we created. I will be respectful and respond to you in positive loving ways.
I promise to honour your uniqueness and always be there for you. To accept and not reject you.
I promise to celebrate your virtues, not focus on your shortcomings. To support and bring out the best in you. I recognise we have to have a strong sense of identity for real intimacy to occur.
I promise when I’m hurt to stay in touch with my feelings and remain open and caring.
I promise not to use anger or threats to manipulate and control.
I promise to take responsibility and address my own frustration rather than project them on you. I recognise that every criticism is a frustration.
I promise to treat you as my best friend. To support you, take an active interest in what you are doing, and be there for you.
Open communication vow
I promise to remain open and communicate authentically and listen with respect and understanding.
For more ideas, here are some vows from Hitched.co.uk
“I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple, and when it is an effort. I promise to cherish you, and to always hold you in highest regard. These things I give to you today, and all the days of our life.”
“I love you, [Name]. You are my best friend. Today I give myself to you in marriage. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle.”
“Today, I take my place as your husband/wife. May our days be long, and may they be seasoned with faith, love, understanding, and respect, forever and ever. Today is the beginning of the rest of our lives. I choose to spend today, and all of my tomorrows, with you.”
If you are looking for an alternative or addition to the legally binding ceremony a celebrant is an ideal asset for your day. Here is a great link to find the perfect celebrant for your day.